Metallica - St. Anger
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CD Details
Artist: MetallicaEdition: Music CD
Format: CD+DVD, Explicit Lyrics
CD Release Date: 2003-06-05
Music Label: Elektra / Wea
Soundtracks:
- Frantic
- St. Anger
- Some Kind Of Monster
- Dirty Window
- Invisible Kid
- My World
- Shoot Me Again
- Sweet Amber
- Unnamed Feeling
- Purify
- All Within My Hands
Music reviews of St. Anger
Music Review: The 1-2 Reviews Greatest Hits
Rating: 1 Stars
After almost 4,000 reviews, why another review? I mean, what else can be said that hasn't been said already? Well this ain't really a review of St. Anger, it is a review of the many negative reviews. This many reviews of 1 album is deserving of a review in itself! My favorite explanation for why so many reviews is from someone about a thousand reviews ago who said: "...it is like attending a funeral. This album has been reviewed on Amazon by 4000 people, for good reason. We all feel the need to read our eulogies to our beloved has-been Metallica..." Well, I couldn't have said it better myself, so I didn't try to. And though there are some 5 star reveiws, most of these start with "it grows on you" or "it's not that bad." Another reviewer waaay back had this to say to these 4-5 star folks: "EVERYONE who gave this album a positive review all say the same thing. 'You have to let it grow on you.' or 'After I listened to it 63 times it actually wasn't so bad.' NEWS FLASH... good albums are just that. They don't need to "grow" on anything." A few more comments about some of the postive reviews that rang true for me were: "ANYBODY WHO GIVES THIS PIECE OF JUNK ANYTHING MORE THAN 1 STAR SHOULD BE LOCKED AWAY IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL" and "I'm sick of the positive reviews for St Anger. Your lying and you know it. The CD is a joke. Like your positive review of it. Stop the nonsense and jump on the Metallica bashing band wagon. It's fun!" and "How can anyone give this album 5 stars? are they deaf?" But the most humorous thing to me is how many folks said they would rather listen to Brittany Spears than St. Anger, LOL!
The most common complaints about this album were: # 1- the trash/tin can sounding drums, also described as pots and pans, or children's toys # 2- lack of solos, or good riffs # 3- the lyrics and vocals # 4- the lack of production quality # 5 - the songs being too long. # 6- the general lack of creativity # 7- and not having a zero star or negative star option from Amazon. The most frequently used descriptive words and adjectives were "sucks", "sux", "horrible", "horrified", "crap" (and all it's derivatives), "garbage", "trash" and "%@*^" and other various 4 letter explectives (usually the one meaning excrement, and the other which means the act of copulating). Also used, were a lot of examples of onomatopoeia used to represent wretching or vomiting. One of the most frequently used phases was "what were they thinking?", followed by "what happened?", and plain ole "why?" Then came many, many "R.I.P."s and the resounding sentiment that "Metallica is now dead" by saying this album was "the nail in their coffin", though a few like me still hold out hope that they'll put out at least one more good album. But back to those drums, the drums, the drums, AAAAAGGGH! Look at what some folks said:
"Whatever drums Lars was playing on should be burned and never spoken of again..." _ "No... I don't think it is a drum at all. Its really that disturbing." _ "....the drums truly sound like a man banging against a trash can lid." _ "Lars bangs on trashcans while, James repeats the same riff over and over." _ "Anyways, if you love the sound of Cats brawling near a trash can, then this album is for you." _ "Enter Trashcan, this sucks, I wish I could ram it right up Lars' a$$" _ "I would rather listen to my boss tell me how much i suck at life while having my ex kick me in the balls than listen to friggin lars bang on his trash lid." _ "...and the tin can drums start you might as well be hearing fingernails on a chalkboard." _ "Bang, Bang, Bamg, Bang, Owww My migraine is back." _ "Lars snare has an infinite ping that would disturb a deaf man..." _ "Did Lars buy a Toys R Us drum kit?" _ "That snare does make you want to commit random acts of violence.."
Many reviewers are still sore about the Napster debacle on top of their additional anguish from buying St Anger, as evidenced by remarks like these: "Considering how this band takes pride in suing its own fans, perhaps now its payback time for fans by taking a class-action suit against them." _ "i'm thinking about sueing metallica to get my money back." _ "metallica came up with a great plan to stop people from downloading their music for free... have it suck!" _ "Who are the theifs now? Making anyone pay money for this noise pollution is a crime." _ "Near the end of one of the songs it sounds as if Hetfield's having his nuts pulled off or something but we all know that those were long gone since the court case against Napster." _ "Maybe this is all a prank from Lars to punish people for tapping into his profits from online downloads." _ "This disc finally makes me understand why Metallica fought so hard against music sharing on the internet, they knew that if people heard this before they bought it, they wouldn't sell any copies." _ "Must have been inspired from prison sex or something. Good news is that Lar$ won't have to worry about people downloading this crap!" _ "Maybe they need to spend less time in the courtrooms and more time in the practice studio."
My biggest disappointment was that Metallica would even put something so sloppy out, and their seemly uncaring attitude when recording this album shows big time. Do they have any pride in being Metallica anymore? I wasn't alone in this sentiment going by these examples: "I expect better music from people who supposedly helped pioneer the whole thrash metal experience..." _ "St. Anger is a slap in the face of every Metallica fan." _ "I was indeed the biggest Metallica Fan one could say, im sorry I cant support this trash." _ "...this album is less than 1% of what Metallica used to be capable of." _ "I'd much rather see no new material at all, than to see one of my favorite bands of all time embarrass themselves like this." _ "...I just can't accept a half-assed effort from a band like this." But on to the most quotable quotes from other reviewers which I have subtitled under these catagories: Advice, Opinions, and Vitriolic Analogies & Sarcasm
ADVICE (to potential buyers and some for the band) beginning with my favorite:
"Congratulations, whoever's reading this, your now the dumbest person in the world for even thinking about about buying this piece horsesh^t. I understand if your one of those people who, like me, bought this when it came out but it's been a year now [this is from a 2004 review] and anyone buying this now has got to be retarded or just getting into metal. Which brings me to why I'm writing this, to help those new into the scene. DON'T BUY THIS!!!" _ "...if you're thinking of buying this album, consider giving the money to me, i'll do better things with it." _ "...for all those people out there supporting metallica's new album just to support metallica should stop, telling them you like it will just make them play more of this sh*ty ass music, i just want to let them know they made a bad choice, and will hopefully they will learn from it..." _ "Download it if you want, but you'd just be killing time on a sunday afternoon on something you'll only doom it to your computer's recycle bin 20 minutes after the first listen." _ "If you have already bought this one, then get the best out of it, and play some frisbee." _ "If your a ignorant retard buy this record immediately. You'll love it." _ "Let's do what we can to get this band on food stamps for the insult they have inflicted upon true metal fans..." _ "If you see it displayed in a record store, turn around and run screaming from the place." _ "...avoid this cd like aids." _ "Note to Lars and James: "KILL KILL KILL KILL" is NOT a lyric - you dopes!!" _ " No, I DIDN'T sell it--i'm too concerned about other people wasting their money. The stupid phrase "I'm madly in anger with you" is repeated to the point where the second time listening I took the disk out and smashed it. If I found this for free, I wouldn't get it." _ "Dont buy this album, and in case you see Lars in person, punch him in his ugly little face." _ "Do your self a favor and use your money to blow your nose instead of buying this album." _ "..If you can't stop playing crap for music, change the name of the band, and go on tour with Michael Jackson." _ "...I urge anybody, even the biggest Metallica fan to not even stare at this cd or the crappiness will make your head explode." _ "Regard it as yew might a plague-ridden corpse." _ "I think that if you have a job making a million dollars a week, 15 dollars is still too much to pay for that cd." _ "I would not get this cd if I were paid the [money] to take it."
Opinions:
"this is the crappiest piece of crap..." _ "Maybe this is just a midlife crisis..." _ "Yes fine, you went to rehab, no need to inflict it on all of us..." _ "....this album is an embarrasment..." _ "St. Anger just leaves you feeling angry over the money that you wasted." _ "It is truly piss-poor..." _ "Not even worthy of the 99 cent bin!" _ "...Blegh." _ "It stinks and it will make you think there's a rock inside your hubcap when you play it in your car." _ "Left me feeling used and cheated." _ "i wish i could give this a minus 5 stars..." _ "Other sounds that may be more fulfilling than this album include: circular saws, screaming children, squealing breaks, and white noise." _ "...*erp* (wretches on cd player)" _ "Pointless and crude." _ "I never thought I'd hate an album more than one made by Madonna but here it is." _ "I'd rather listen to Brittney Spears than this cd. Heck even Barney sounds better." _ "Now, the 'Metallica' name is so well established that they can come up with an album full of gurgles, burps and farts and still sell a million copies." _ "This was horrible, this isn't music, this is just torturing Guitars and breaking drums..." _ "...regardless of how high you rank their intentions the record is still an incoherent mess." _ "...should come with a tube of hemorrhoidal cream for some relief from the rheaming you just took for buying this cd." _ "I'm thinking about running it over with my car, I think that would be the most joy I could get from this album." _ "This new album is only good for Britney Spears fans who want to feel cool by having something "heavy" in their collection." _ "...a sonic hell that has made me hate my own ears for allowing it in." _ "It's the kind of stuff the police would use to drive people out of buildings and such." _ "If the US army would have played this music in Iraq they would have surrendered in about an hour." _ "Amazon will not post my real feelings about this CD due to foul and abusive language." _ "No matter how hard these other reviews try to polish this turd, It is still a turd." _ "The album itself, along with the limited edition DVD, can be used for some rather nice drink coasters. They'll fit in perfectly with those AOL discs we all get in the mail." _ "St anger is the best cd in my collection to play frisbee with because i like the design on it when i see it spinnin through the air." _ "It pains me to have to put a star on this piece of s#*t." _ "With all the other metallica cd's I can sit down and listen to it, with st anger I just start getting edgy and bored and I end up ejecting it for some old metallica." _ "Sadly it seemed more like they were trying to see how bad they could make it and still get people to buy it." _ "St. Anger is the patron saint of [bad]records." _ "I want to punch my room mate in the face for buying this."_ "I should have used the 15.00 for toilet paper, would have been used for something useful!" _ "My Metallica collection will do just fine without this atrocity." _ "I would like to throw this CD at the band as if it was a deadly Chinese star." _ "Just start up your lawn mower, and put your ear against the motor: same thing." _ "RAW you say...all you poor duped fools that have no musical taste...no RAW is what your face is after being slapped repeatedly by this once decent band."
Vitriolic Analogies and Sarcasm
"Master of Puppets was Van Gogh. And Justice for All was Michael Angelo. St. Anger is bad finger painting." _ "Instead of what could have been their best album since Justice we get an album that is the aural equivalent of premature ejaculation." _ "Listening to the whole album was like visiting the dentist. Sit, endure the pain, and wait for it to be over." _ "i hate this album as if it were satan himself." _ "...as if Saturday Night Live was doing a skit making fun of them." _ "There was no rhyme, no melody, and it sounded like a dog faking an orgasm." _ "...recorded this album in about the time it takes me to drop a log in the john. this is metallica at their worst." _ "There are no words I know that can explain how horrendous this album is, except for the incoherant babblings of an insane turkey raper." _ " I'D RATHER LISTEN TO JUSTIM TIMBERLAKE TAKING A SH*T THAN ST.ANGER." _ "This album reeks like wet garbage on a hot July day..." _ "Heavy metal without guitar solos is like a hamburger without meat in it - it just doesn't work." _ "St. Anger sucks like a cheap hooker with no teeth." _ "I'd rather get cancer than buy, or even listen to this crap." _ "it sucks more than a vaccuum cleaner." _ "The once greatest thrash metal band is about as bad as Dave Mustane's voice singing opera." _ "I think of listening to this album as training for hell. After one spin there's no torture the devil can give you worse than what you just endured." _ "It reminds me of my brother yelling over a chainsaw while I'm trying to watch a TV static." _ "i would rather gargle a bucket of diahrea than hear st anger." _ "St Anger is the worst thing that ever happened to an electric guitar!" _ "This one's weaker than Coor's Light." _ "...Saint Anger sucks so bad its like a bunch of hungry piglets cannot get their food because their mother was butchered by the local farmering community..." _ "like a quartet of tired fortysomethings trying to drown out their dialysis machines." _ "it sux harder than a thirsty elephant in june." _ "...with harmonies so rudimentary it could just as well be a cage full of chimps with drums and guitars." _ "St Anger is the 'Jar Jar Binks' of metal albums." _ "I know of a kid in high school with pink hair who with his bandmates and uncle could make a better cd in their garage and have their pet birds make better sounds than what was on this poor excuse of an attempt at an album." _ "I just love Mettalica we play this alblum at my slumber parties while we paint our finger nails and sip on hot tea!! Their so angry the way I feel when mommy grounds me and takes my toys away from me!!" _ "Did they get a 4 year old Turrets victim to pen those lyrics?" _ "Those lyrics make "100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" sound deep." _ "With this album, it appears that they were trying to bring back some sort of ferocity to their music, but in this case it's a toothless lion." _ "If you put a set of trashcans on a stage, tied a cat to a rope hanging from a ceiling fan set to high, you might come near the sounds emanating from this Bob Rock standard production." _ "the lyrics of St.Anger are about as flat as a three-day old open can of diet coke." _"Landmine has taken my Balls!!" _ "I'd rather listen to myself fart..." _ LOL, Nuff said!
Description of St. Anger
Also included is a bonus DVD featuring a down n? dirty live-in-the-studio performance of every track on the album. Never before has an artist designated a live DVD performance of a new album to simultaneously accompany its new studio release. CD produced by Bob Rock.Never underestimate the regenerative powers of Metallica. Following the stripped-down Load and Re-Load, they've returned to the raw, vitriolic savagery of their earlier canon, using 1984's Ride the Lightning as a template for St. Anger. The title track provides the psychic lynchpin of the album by combining the bombast and defiance of the band's earliest high-water marks with more deliberate lyrics and emotional nakedness. Equally cathartic is "Some Kind of Monster," a lumbering beast of a song that declares, "This is the voice of silence no more." Despite that claim, there's an economy to these lyrics; James Hetfield's raw-toothed growl only occasionally punctuates the menacing soundscapes. In fact, "Dirty Windows," the standout track here, is a shimmering five-minute instrumental that's free of the baroque trappings that sometimes clutter the Metallica landscape. --Jaan Uhelszki
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