Black Veil Brides - We Stitch These Wounds
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Artist: Black Veil BridesBrand: Standby Records
Edition: Music CD
Audio: English (Unknown)
CD Release Date: 2010-07-20
Music Label: Stand By Records
Soundtracks:
- The Outcasts (Call to Arms)
- We Stitch These Wounds
- Beautiful Remains
- Children Surrender
- Perfect Weapon
- Knives and Pens
- The Mortician's Daughter
- All Your Hate
- Heaven's Calling
- Never Give In
- Sweet Blasphemy
- Carolyn
Music reviews of We Stitch These Wounds
Music Review: We Stitch These Wounds: A Realistic Review
Rating: 1 Stars
My first encounter with Black Veil Brides was probably the same as most people's, a viewing of their hit video, 'Knives and Pens.' I watched it twice, unable to believe just how perfectly this band fit into the popular 'post-hardcore' (a.k.a., 'emo') clique/genre. It was even difficult to believe the band actually took themselves seriously and were not just a parody of post-hardcore bands. The video has all the trademarks of the movement; when the lead singer, Andy Sixx is first seen, he is dressed in skinny jeans, a V-neck shirt, and sports the typical scene-do: teased, with way too much hairspray. He looks up, showing off his eyeliner and very silly-looking 'zombie' mouth makeup,and grins 'manically' in what he apparently hopes will be a disturbing or frightening way at the camera. (I laughed). For those unfamiliar with screamo/emo music, this is a typical move used by legions of post-hardcore bands. A few shots later, Sixx employs the use of another popular screamo move, the 'swing the microphone cord around your head like a lasso.' Yee-haw! Then he skips forward like a little girl before leaning in towards the camera to do the 'evil' grin a second time. ("See my make-up? Ya see it? Real hard-core, huh?")
Next, the band establishes up front what kind of kids they're seeking to corrupt and get big off of through their self-pitying music by showing a little emo boy, maybe in 6th grade, dressed in skinnies, black converse, and a bandanna, being picked on at school. The first word that Sixx sings? "Alone."
The song goes on for just long enough to touch on all the trademarks of screamo/emo music. Annoying, tired guitar riffs, angsty, childish lyrics, not-so-inspired screams, and of course...right when you feel it coming, the stereo-typical one chord breakdown, spiced up with a squeal here and there. Oh, and the kid gets bullied some more. But don't despair, Black Veil Brides want to help!
After the instant success of this video, it wasn't too long before some very crafty marketers and Black Veil Brides got together to conquer every Hot Topic from West coast to East coast and the band started recording. The result?
The 'highly anticipated' debut album, 'We Stitch These Wounds.'
Before reviewing the music, perhaps we should see what Black Veil Bride's have to say for themselves. To do this, I'll go to BVB's favorite hang-out, Myspace. In their biography, they declare themselves a 'dark rock sensation.' (Dark rock...? Jeez, I just thought it was teenybopper music for that certain group of middle schoolers that want to be different...silly me.) Later they brag of their Hot Topic shelf space, forgetting that they share said shelf space with the likes of Justin Bieber, the Jonas Brothers, and Lady GaGa. (Somehow I have an inkling that there's a negative correlation between the amount of T shirts sold at Hot Topic and the quality of the artist's music.) In the following sentence, Black Veil Brides burden us with the disturbing information that their fans refer to themselves as Bridesmaids, a nickname that apparently the band encourages. So...we have a group of guys calling themselves 'brides',(in other words, declaring that they are women), and we have their fans calling themselves Bridesmaids? (According to Wikipedia, a bridesmaid is "...typically a young woman.") And yet young emo boys think that they are hardcore for being a fan of this band... Lastly, Black Veil Brides 'mention' that they ranked 9th in Myspace's Top Music Charts...in the Metal category. This is thrown out seemingly nonchalantly, but it is painfully obvious to the more astute reader that BVB's is actually attempting to convince you that they are real metal, not emo pop. After all, Myspace said so!
In case this is not enough, the photos of the band on their Myspace page should be enough to convince most reasonably mature, intelligent people that the band is made up of Alice Cooper-wannabe posers. All band members are dressed in the usual scene style with ridiculously teased hair, but go to the added measure of caking themselves in unoriginal white and black makeup. Apparently too lazy to come up with something original, or perhaps just fully aware that their fans wouldn't be able to tell rip offs from the real thing, they shamelessly copy Alice Cooper's and Kiss's old makeup designs from the 70's. In case this still isn't enough, the band also resorts to overused, dumb poses for their photo shoots. Andy Sixx looks skyward with puppy dog eyes, hands together as if in prayer. Ashley Purdy raises his hand up in not one, but two pictures in an effort to be absolutely sure that his new fingerless gloves are seen by all.
Furthermore, the band also insists that they have 'over the top theatrics.' (Yeah, that's really cool, BVB. I realize that you wish you were Alice Cooper, but you are not, Andy Sixx, and won't ever be, no matter how much eyeliner you wear).
Now, onto the music of their debut. The album kicks off with 'The Outcasts (Call to Arms)'. Yes, you heard correctly. This band even has a 'call to arms' like so many other bands of the same genre. "This record is for the Outcasts. Following our stories of Love, Life, And Never Giving In" introduces a voice. Really? Are you kidding me? Yes, the band, desperate to fit into the annoying clique of emo screamo, even openly states that their music is strictly for the elite, the 'outcasts.' But they also have that usual ounce of hope--"never giving in." That's so inspiring, Andy Sixx.
Track two is 'We Stitch These Wounds.' "You kissed the lips of evil.." sings Sixx in the first line. Now, what that's supposed to mean, I don't know, but it's a line laced with popular emo words (kissed, lips, evil), so it works. The chorus is made up of more screams from Andy about how "You're by yourself!"
'Beautiful Remains' falls back on that unbelievably cliche plot, fully exhausted by 2004 but still used by countless bands yearly, of the guy's girlfriend dying. She dies, he sets her on fire, because fire is cool and daredevil, after all, and he gets a little emotional because "All we've fought for now is dead." Essentially, a break up song for the emo kids.
'Children Surrender' does nothing that hasn't already been done before in the previous tracks, except boast lyrics that make even less sense. Example: "An exorcise of life to cut beneath our hands,
Like souls who missed their plight, we'll bleed along the sand." So how do you cut an exorcise of life, I wonder? And how is that 'like souls who missed their plight', a.k.a., a dangerous or difficult situation? The rather pointless use of the word 'sand' also makes it clear that it was used solely to rhyme with 'hands.'
'Perfect Weapon' is a standard emo screamo tune, following the promising recipe of a catchy 'metalcore' opening guitar riff, and another irritating, unoriginal 'breakdown.' The lyrics are about an emo boy who stays up at night to make lists of victims, targeting those who have hurt him. In the chorus, Andy lets loose howls of "YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!" Yep, more lyrics about being alone. I'm sure many immature emo kids find this very easy to relate to, and therefor inspiring,but I find it sickening. We get it, you're on your own. Now find something WORTH singing about.
Next is the aforementioned Knives and Pens, another celebration of glorifying being alone and emo, with some knives and pens for company.
In the next track, the band decides to provide a break from the monotone screaming and wearisome riffing by changing things up with an acoustic song. Sadly, it is no less awful. In his lame Alice Cooper impersonation, Sixx warbles along for a few minutes with the help of Auto-tune. One can easily imagine the band
writing this song; Sixx flipping through his Big Book of Emo Words and picking those that he likes best. "Hmmm. Funerals. Funerals are for dead people. Dead people are emo. So funeral is good. What else? Oh, this is good...'pain.' Gotta use that. What else? Hmmm...scream, haunt, bleeding, promised, loved...now, how can I string these words together?" The result? 'The Mortician's Daughter', a song written for Andy's girlfriend, whose father is, actually, a mortician. (Thanks to whatsherface for the correction.)
'All Your Hate' is basically filler comprising of more emo words. 'Lonely, holy, deadly, blood red, hate, burn,die, lost....blahblahblah. Doesn't Andy have anything more to write about than this? It comes across as bad teen poetry.
Track Nine: 'Heaven's Calling'. So, from the title, we may assume that Andy Sixx is now so caught up in his romantic emo world of darkness,morticians, loneliness, and death, that he is now ready to die. After all, Heaven is calling to him! Directly after he howls this declaration, he comes back in with some "RAWRS!" (It's easy to imagine some silly scene girls insisting "It's dinosaur for 'I LUV YOU!") Well, if you ever surrender to heaven's beckons, Mister Sixx, I know at least one person who won't miss you. THIS GUY!
The next track exemplifies what BVB earlier insisted their message is, never giving in. The name of the track? Never Give In, of course. In this hopeful composition written to help kids pull through being teased at school for being emo, Sixx sings "Never give in, never back down." This creates an interesting chicken and egg scenario. Kids apparently credit BVB with giving them hope and helping them survive being teased and bullied for being emo, but these same kids only become 'emo' in the first place because of listening to bands such as BVB, who glorify being one and make gullible kids think it's cool to.
Sweet Blasphemy: More filler about being strong in sadness. Stereotypical tune.
The album finishes with 'Carolyn.' This tune stands out for being the first time BVB declare 'You're not alone.' Huh? But for the last eleven songs all you've been telling me is that I AM alone...I'm confused, Mister Sixx.
Musically, the album achieves nothing but rehashing everything most terrible about emo screamo music. Although the band is admittedly competent technically, writing music is decidedly not their forte. However, if you answer yes to most or any of the following, Black Veil Brides: We Stitch These Wounds may be right for you:
1. Do you delight in dwelling on everything that's wrong with your life?
2. Did your mommy buy you a Medium and not the Large soda that you WANTED at McDonald's? (She must not love you.)
3. Do you insist that all your clothes were bought at Hot Topic?
4. Do you enjoy bands such as Escape the Fate, From First to Last, or The Used, and feel you can relate to their lyrics?
5. Have you ever fantasized about killing your girlfriend so you can be together in death?
6. Is your mouth open with your hands clutching an imaginary heart in your Myspace profile pic?
7. Do you straighten your hair over at least one eye to show you are unique?
8. Do you hate all that is mainstream, and feign an undying love for comics, Harry Potter, poetry, hairspray and Pokemon?
9. Do you insist that you are 'above the influence'?
10. Do you boast of your nonexistent suicide attempts and cutting sessions?
11. Are you under the age of 14?
12. Most importantly, are you alone?
If so, spend your money on this CD. BVB will stitch your emotional wounds and you won't be disappointed.
However, to the rest of us, it should be clear that BVB's music is marketed specifically for young kids, primarily girls, who can drool to their heart's content over Andy Sixx no matter how awful the music is.
Black Veil Brides is just the newest popular trend, one that shouldn't be followed.
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